“Who was going to tell me this?” – Vernell, teacher
The conversation hasn’t ended when the paperwork is signed. Letting family members who weren’t part of the discussion know what you’ve decided is an essential part of the process. To spare them avoidable emotional distress during the time the decisions must be put into effect, let them know in advance what you’ve resolved to do and whom you’ve selected as your health-care agent.
Read on, or click on the video buttons below for discussion strategies.
What? Only the hospital knows?
Vernell, teacher [left], and Louard, job trainer
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Vernell and Louard — What? Only the hospital knows?
Transcript:
LOUARD: It seems like at almost every hospital now, this is a requirement, that you designate if you have a living will or not, and if you do, they have a copy of it on file.
VERNELL: At which hospital?
LOUARD: I have one on file at St. Luke’s and one up here at Mercy.
VERNELL: When was I going to know this?
LOUARD: When I die.
VERNELL: Who was going to tell me this?
LOUARD: I didn’t realize that she wasn’t aware of that.
Face-to-face is best
Frank, computer specialist
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Frank — Face-to-face is best
Transcript:
“Being able to have this conversation face-to-face is just something that feels more appropriate than trying to say or do it on the phone or some other way, because you want to be able to read those quiet moments and those situations and have a little more intimate conversation with, in this case, our children or whoever is going to be acting on your behalf.”
I want to tell them what matters to me
Magdalena, medical interpreter/translator
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Magdalena — I want to tell them what matters to me
Transcript:
“I’m going to say that we have written some documents, we have completed some documents that are very important for us because they explain how we want to be taken care of on our last days. And I want to talk about that with them, I want them to know what’s important to me, what kind of care I want and don’t want, plus I want them to know how I feel about talking. I want them to come and say, ‘I know you’re dying and let’s talk about it,’ and if you are dying, I would like to be able to do that, too. I don’t want to put those feelings aside and pretend that nothing’s happening.”
Lesson Contents
II. Advance Directives for Health Care
III. Starting an Advance Directive Discussion
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- c.6. Sharing Our Decisions with Others
Resources and Tools
Communicate Your Advance Directives for Health Care belongs to a series called Legally Secure Your Financial Future. The series also includes information to help you organize important household papers and begin preparing your estate plan.